A Week Alone

I've been meaning to write this post for the past week but just haven't had a chance to sit down and really do it. Last week, J was out of town (Las Vegas for an auto convention with his dad and brother) from Monday through Friday so I had Luke all to myself. I was a bit nervous about it, but it was an event that J has been wanting to go to for years and I really wanted him to be able to go, so I tried to hide my nervousness and tell myself that Luke and I would be just fine.

Monday morning was nice because J didn't have to go to the airport until the afternoon, so we spent some time together as our little family. Then he left. And even though I had spent the morning with him, after he left and the afternoon got toward the time when he usually gets home from work, I found myself listening at the door for him coming home. And then it hit me that he was at the airport and wouldn't be home that day. Heck, every day that week, I had the same feeling and kept having to remind myself that he was out of town.

All in all Luke and I did very well together although I'm very glad that I don't have to do it alone all the time. I think the biggest thing that I missed (besides handing Luke to J for a little while so I can get some stuff done around the house) was not having anyone to share Luke with. Luke would do something funny and instead of being able to say "Hey, honey, look at what Luke is doing" I had to just experience it by myself. Sure, there are times when J is at work when the same thing happens, but for some reason it just felt different. I did try to text J with pictures of Luke several times while he was gone, but I missed having him right there to be able to share experiences with Luke together.

I wasn't alone the entire week that he was gone. On Tuesday and Thursday mornings I went to meetups with local moms (which I've been greatly enjoying each week). And on Wednesday evening, friends brought over dinner (yummy pizza) and we ate together. As much as I love hanging out with the other moms and as much as I'm thankful for friends who bring dinner and themselves over, it felt so wonderful to have J come home on Friday. We are definitely a family that needs all three of us to be complete.

The other thing that I think Luke really missed was bath time with Daddy. Since I breastfeed and I'm home all day with Luke, he and I get a lot of bonding time. Although J does hold him quite a bit in the evening, it doesn't seem to be the same as the time I spend with Luke. So J has been the one who gives Luke a bath. I'm mostly just in the bathroom to lend an extra pair of hands if needed. So it's time for the boys. J always turns on some music (like Eric Clapton or something of that nature) and as he washes Luke, I just enjoy watching Luke staring up into Daddy's eyes and smiling as he enjoys his bath and his time with his Daddy. Watching them together just really makes me feel all happy and warm inside.

Since we currently give Luke a bath every three days, I had to give him a bath only once while J was gone. I tried to do the usual routine. I put on some music (although it was my music, so Gaelic Storm and Glee and whatnot) and tried to go through the bathing steps the same way that Daddy does it. Although Luke did smile, he didn't seem to be smiling as much as when Daddy gives him a bath. So it was successful in that Luke got clean and he did smile, but I know it wasn't the same experience. And honestly, I don't feel bad about that. I'm glad that bath time with me was not as much fun as bath time with Daddy. It really helps me to feel like Luke and J really do bond quite a bit with bath time and I'm so happy that they have that time together.

So I made it through the week alone with Luke. And although I'm sure it will happen again in the future (and perhaps even some time for J alone with Luke if I go somewhere, although I'm not yet ready to leave Luke overnight), I'm definitely glad that J is back home.